Perseverance

It's Okay to Say No

By Becky Beresford

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Occasionally NO can be my best friend, but most of the time I hate it. I hate when their tears start streaming. I hate when they stomp their feet and slam their doors. I hate being called mean, when my heart beats tenderly for them. I’m their mama and they are my babies, and I never want to do anything that will hurt them. And yet, sometimes I need to say NO. Even if they don’t understand why, it needs to be done because preventing future pain is more important than avoiding negative reactions. But trust me, mama friend. I still hate it.

Truth be told, this has been going on for a long time; long before I was gifted with my boys. I’ve always liked to be liked. A lot. My life has been filled with the desire to please people at all costs in order to earn their love. When others dislike me, I wrestle with that reality until something inside of me breaks. Letting people down and disappointing others makes me feel like I am failing at kindness. I start to think that in order to show my care, I need to satisfy their happiness quota. I need to let them have whatever they want, whatever makes them smile and say thank you. But being a mama doesn’t work that way. Being a parent or friend or woman doesn’t work that way. And being a follower of Jesus doesn’t work that way either.

Why God Withholds

Believe it or not, God doesn’t give us everything we want. I know, it’s a real shocker. But could we just close our eyes for a minute and imagine what our lives would look like if everything we prayed for happened instantaneously?  If everything we desired was delivered to us on a shiny plate from heaven?  How different would our worlds be?  How different would we be?  Because I’m going to say something bold right now…something that will need to be repeated in my own mind over and over, especially when my prayers seem to go unanswered.

There is beauty in the withholding.  

There is purpose and passion behind God’s ways, and it’s not that He is harsh or wants to see us sad or lacking. On the contrary—God only wants abundance for His children. But if withholding something good is the only way to bring about His ultimate BEST, then He will ask us to trust Him through the process. He will ask us to trust Him as He says NO or maybe or not yet.

Jesus Prays for the Cup to Pass

Thankfully, Jesus wasn’t like me in the crowd-pleasing department. He often stepped away when people wanted to praise Him and make Him an earthly king. Instead of being consumed with others’ opinions, He fixed His eyes on the goodness of His Father, trusting in His greater plan. But there was a moment when Jesus wished circumstances could have changed. As the final hours of His life dwindled, He entered the Garden of Gethsemane filled with intense sorrow. From the depths of His heart He pleaded with His Father. Face to the ground, Jesus prayed,

My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.
— Matthew 26:39 (NIV)
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Close your eyes again, Dear Reader. Imagine this pivotal scene. Either answer given would change the course of humanity. Jesus is raw and real and brings His request before the Most High, not as a servant but as a son. His ONLY Son. And yet, the Father knew. He saw the dawning victory and coming glory. He saw the powers of darkness biting at the bit, ready to destroy the Light of the world. But knew He had to say NO. Even though it would break both of their hearts, He knew He had to send His own child to the Cross. He had to refuse the request of His Son in order to usher in what was BEST: Forgiveness. Freedom. Restoration. Redemption. It was the ultimate act of love, and it was ushered in by a holy NO. He denied His own child for the sake of relationship. God said NO to Jesus so He could say YES to us. And it was the most beautiful display of devotion this world has ever seen.

A Sacred No

Some NO’s are sacred. Some refusals are needed. They may not be easy, but they have the ability to bring about greater and grander things. 

Remember that mama and make sure you stand tall. If our Creator recognizes the importance of withholding, it’s okay if we do too. We are not being cruel when we choose to say NO. We shouldn’t feel guilty or paint ourselves as unkind. Instead, we are doing what we are called to do. We are nurturing and guiding and discerning and protecting. We are building our children’s trust as we place our faith in the Father.

 He is incredibly good. He is abundant in love. May ALL of our answers lead right back to Him.


Mama Bear in Warfare

 By Brittany Rust

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I’ve never been under spiritual warfare when it comes to health. Let alone, that on top of a mountain of battles. And boy, when the body is weak time and again, it seems the spirit can become weak as well if not diligent.

I honestly wasn’t sure what to share this weekend because I’ve felt so beat down. I wasn’t sure if I had anything to give. But then, why not speak from my battlefield. Spiritual warfare is so very real for all of us so let’s go there. And honestly, looking at the last several posts I can’t help but see God is wanting to speak intimately to some weary moms out there. 

I’m going through one of the hardest seasons I’ve ever been through. It started about fifteen months ago and about a month ago, I thought it would get easier. Instead, it got harder. WAY harder. The kind of hard that beats down with one thing after another. The kind that attacks all areas of your life and family. The kind that hits so hard you want to tap out. 

Right now, I’m sitting in bed, barely getting this out, alone. I’ve moved states but my husband is still back in Colorado for the time being. I’m without my partner and best friend, working full time and taking care of our little guy. All the things I assumed would come so easy because “God is in this” aren’t coming so easy and I’m doubting. We’ve been in urgent care two out of our three weekends here because with Roman it’s been one thing after another. Then I got sick this week. Like, so sick I haven’t been this sick maybe ever. And then tonight, as if our health wasn’t being attacked enough, Roman got pink eye...again. 

As a mom, I see my little man suffer and mama bear comes out. I want to fiercely protect him—to make him better. But I can’t. All I can do is help him along the best I can. 

Here’s how I’ve been feeling this week: I can take a long, spiritual battle. I’ve done it before. But my kid—not so easy. My perseverance is limited and my patience thin. Mama bear doesn’t like waiting for the storm to pass for her little guy who can’t kick sickness and misses his dad like crazy. I feel helpless. I feel guilty.

I’ve been pretty upset with Him this week. I’ve questioned and doubted. I told my friend this week, “I assumed it would be an easy transition because I thought God was in it. But it’s been so hard and now I’m questioning everything. Does this mean God isn’t in it?” 

She encouraged me so well (thank goodness for sisterhood, right?!). She said,

”Because it isn’t going easy does not mean God isn’t in it. It means things like that are just hard. Peace does not always come in the journey because journeys are a struggle with ups and downs. Peace will come later. Kinda when you go on a hike and it’s hard but when you are done it’s that moment you take a breath.”

She’s right—the right path isn’t always going to be easy; life is just hard sometimes. And then I was reminded, also this week, that God uses hard times to call out our perseverance. It’s something I’m struggling to have as a mom but that doesn’t mean I get a “get out of jail free” card because my kid is involved. Perseverance just needs to go to a whole other level! 

What I’m trying to say is this: Spiritual warfare will happen. And when it effects your kids, it will poke the mama bear within and perhaps cause you to fight or flight. But what if God just wants you to stick close and keep going? One foot in front of the other, wearily trudging ahead. 

Stand firm and keep fighting the battle, mama. Don’t lose hope. Keep the faith. Choose to endure. 

Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.
— Hebrews 6:18-19

How do you and I keep our head above water until relief comes? Flee towards Jesus. Have confidence in Him, not the surroundings. Trust the anchor to hold until the storm passes. We aren’t guaranteed an easy, breezy life. But we are promised a steady Savior in the midst of our chaos and uncertainty. Are you anchored by Him? Tethered to his unwavering love and care for you? He won’t leave you alone in the storm. His door of hope is just ahead. Don’t give up, friend. This too shall pass.