Guest Post by Char Reid
The ‘one day’ I knew would come has come. You know, that day everyone warned you about—the day the children would be grown. The day they really have moved on with their own lives. That day!!!
Pouring all you are and have into seven (yes, I said seven) wonderful children occupied my very being. Not to mention an awesome husband who was pastoring a couple hundred people.
I have to say, when you look back you don’t remember the hard days as much as you do the good days. Take heart! Although there were tears shed over laundry for nine! There were the never-ending questions that harassed my every day:
What’s for supper?
Who has a ballgame today?
Did I finish all of our homeschool work today?
Has everyone heard they are loved today?
Has love flowed from my words and tones today?
Was Jesus pleased with me today?
You know, those things that matter to us as moms that creep in and make us feel like failures if we didn’t do them. I can recall days when I was convinced I was the greatest mom God ever created. While also feeling there were those days I was the absolute worst mom ever.
My heart, as I sit here in silence missing all the noise of little voices, reaches out for young mothers. There is an aching that longs to wrap my arms around you and fill you with words of encouragement and love. To say I loved being a mama is the understatement of my life! Being a mama is still my most favorite calling on my life. I tend to mother everyone now. Thus, my nickname Mama Char!
Through the years, there have been many God moments that have arrested me and gone way down deep in my soul, to the bedrock of who I am. One of my husband’s favorite sayings to our discipleship classes is, “Let the moment be the teacher.” These are the times we allow what is happening in each moment to be what offers us life’s most precious lessons. These moments are the ones we receive the light that God shines on each circumstance; which leads us into His likeness and nature. I call these ‘Aha’ moments—the, ‘I get it now!’ moments. I want to share with you one of my personal ‘Aha’ moments that has helped me so much. I wish I would have known it as a young mom and I pray as I share it, it will help you as much as it helped me.
While going through a very heart-breaking situation, I realized I had given my heart to so many different people. I had given them control of my heart and my feelings. Hurt and disappointment came through family and friends, church congregations, and even my husband and precious children. I consider myself a people person and am outgoing, quick to give my heart to whoever I found myself with. I was completely capable of allowing my heart to be controlled by so many different situations and circumstances. One day, through my tears, I begged the Lord, “Please talk to me! I don’t know what to do with all of these feelings!” In all of His kindness, He answered me that day.
He said, “Daughter, when I said for you to love Me with all of your heart that is exactly what I meant for you to do. Your heart is Mine. I never meant for your heart to belong to anyone but Me. Not your husband. Not your children. No one but Me. Your heart is safe with Me. I will not crush you or hurt you as others can and will. You can trust Me with your heart. When your heart is fully Mine then you are free to love others fully.”
I can’t even put into writing what happened to me in that moment. I felt a freedom that I had never known. I realized that although I said I loved God with all my heart that I had really given my heart to everyone I had ever met! My heart wasn’t safe in His care when it was out there for my children and everyone else to abuse and hurt. I felt so vulnerable in that moment. I wanted to take all the pieces of me I had so carelessly given away and scoop them all back into me and make a fresh offering to the Lord. That was the day I realized my life as a wife, mother, and friend was really only about one thing: my relationship with God and Him alone. I learned, with my heart being secure in my love for God, I was free to be the wife and mother that my husband and children needed me to be. My position in Him was to receive His love and give it away.
It became so clear that my identity must be in belonging to Him and living and loving from that amazing place. If I love Him, with all of my heart, and I learn His nature and who He is then I become like Him and my husband gets the wife he needs. If I allow what is in Him, that makes Him so nurturing and kind, in me my children get to have the mama they need. If my heart is open to be changed with every fruit of His Spirit then my friends get the friend they need. And if I can just love Him and be His daughter, then I get the me, the real me, that I need to be for myself. The one whose heart is safe in my Fathers great love. Loving and living from this place has been the most freeing and fulfilling experience I have had as a wife, mother, and friend.
I pray you find this place of freedom, which will allow you to enjoy God’s love. A place of loving and living safe in His wonderful care. Blessings to you all!
As a passionate lover of God, Char enjoys pouring out her life lessons learned from marriage, motherhood and ministry. Pastors wife and mother of seven (7), her nurturing nature is a true representation of the Kindness of the heart of God. Her greatest passion is spending time alone with God and Hearing His love. After journaling for years, she has recorded in this book her own encounters that have blessed her and many others.